DIAL-UP SOLUTIONS

Sneak would like to pass on reader Chris Orton’s sage advice, after he succeeded in squeezing some customer service out of reluctant mobile carrier Orange. If you find yourself faced by an obstructive and/or clueless helpdesk:
1. Get your hands on the fax number of the complaints department.
2. Write a stern letter of complaint, putting your telephone number very prominently at the top. Print out three copies, and tape them together into one long triple-rant.
3. Feet the start of the triple-sheet into your fax machine. Dial your operator's fax number and press send.
4. As the leading edge of your letter emerges from the fax scanner, tape it to the trailing edge of your letter, thus forming a loop.
5. Sit back and wait for the telephone to ring.
“After about 30 minutes I had a very helpful Orange representative call me back - apparently its fax service was suffering. Within two days my problem was resolved - all for less than a quid,” reports Orton. “Perhaps this is the future of pay-as-you-go support?”